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*This blog was written 04/30

Well, I had internet earlier.  And it was glorious.  But, alas, the hamster needed a break, so it’s back to blogging into Pages for upload later.  At least I got the previous blogs up.  I hadn’t been able to upload any for a week.

This morning, Fedony had to go get me more paint, as I was completely out.  I asked him to just pick me up in the tap tap and I would go with him.  I wanted to see a few things.  Mainly, I wanted to look at their brushes and rollers.  Lo and behold, they had rollers designed for rough surfaces, like concrete.  I had him pick up a couple.  They work fantastic.  We are about 1/3 of the way through the first coat on the white.  Have the kitchen and 2 bedrooms done.  Have a third bedroom partly done, then have to do the dining room and the living room.  Those are the two biggest rooms,  It goes fairly well.  I just put my headphones in, put iTunes on shuffle, and paint.  I definitely need to move to just one other person.  I had Patrico, Soson, and two kids helping today.  Got way crowded!  One of the kids, Steven, kept singing “we will, we will rock you” all day long.  Thank-you Christen Cole! (she taught them that and “All You Need is Love” when she was here.)  It was actually pretty funny.  I let him listen to the Queen version.  He loved it.  He listened to a couple other Queen songs, too.  Bicycle Race, Fat Bottom Girls and Bohemian Rhapsody.  He didn’t like Bohemian Rhapsody.  There’s no accounting for taste.

In other ministry news, another team was added.  Victoria, from team 4 is coming back June 7 to have a 4 day women’s ministry.  Will be great to see her again, and she’s bringing 4 other women.  Little Nick is coming back May 14.  I think I will have him focus on helping the Calebs as much as possible.  If I need some help, I will grab him.  But I think (I know, I should stick to what I excel at….) that I just have painting, then plumbing, then clean up and done.  And I have 8 weeks to accomplish that (I actually will be home 8 weeks from today).  So I think that’s doable.  I will grab a couple people those last two weeks that have been here before (and thus doesn’t need to see the feeding program, et al-maybe I’ll get Bishop Tyler to do some real work now that there is no video crew) and have them help me clean and prepare for them to move in.  Ok.  Off to fall asleep!  I have a runny nose from breathing in all the dust that’s in the house.  Hoping my weekend will clear that up.  God bless everyone!

*This blog was posted 04/29

I learned something today, it might seem silly, but definitely monumental for me. You see, one day I would like to build a house. From ground up. I have most of the skill to do so. I would pay to have the concrete done right, and finishing the drywall (I simply don’t have the patience and the people that do it, do it fast.) But when I paint said house, I will NOT brush or roll it. I will pay the money to get a sprayer. I have painted 2 coats on the outside of Pastor Rodrigue’s house, and am working on the inside. Half of coat one is done. And this is just the primer/base white coat. I get to do 1-2 coats of color after (also get to mix my own colors….they don’t do it at the hardware store here.) I already wasn’t a huge fan of painting, but this seals the deal. Of course, it doesn’t help the materials here are not up to standards. The paint is pretty thin, and not consistent between cans. The only rollers that Fedony can find are long-knap. The combination just throws paint everywhere. It was acceptable outside, but I won’t use it inside. I am just brushing everything. I am going with him to the hardware store in the morning to get more paint. I will look to see what they have. I also have 2 helpers painting. Patrico does a fairly good job. Just have to really explain what I want. Soson is very careless. He just lets paint go wherever. Plus doesn’t cover very well. I have to go back over his areas and repaint. I asked Pastor to not send him anymore. Seems a little mean, I realize, but it’s creating more work, and I am not staying here forever.

On happier news, I stopped in to say hi to Rodrigue at the hotel before I went out for dinner tonight, and he told me they just added hamburgers/cheeseburgers to the menu at the hotel restaurant and asked if I wanted the first burger. Of course, I did. It was awesome. Not the best burger I’ve ever had, but definitely tasty. Even better, since I was willing to try their first attempt, he said dinner was on him! Thank you, Rodrigue! I sat and ate with him, and we talked for a while. Talked about God, about life, about love. It was kinda funny. About every single girl in Tennessee that he knows, he asked if I wanted them to be my girlfriend. Good times, indeed. I wrapped up my evening by watching The Dark Knight on my laptop. Thankful I ripped some dvd’s to my laptop to keep me entertained. Internet in the entire city of Jacmel is a no-go right now. Apparently, the hamster on the wheel that runs it died. Thankfully, my cell phone package for Haiti allows for cheap internet usage, so I can check emails/facebook. If I couldn’t stay connected, I’d likely go crazy (crazier? You be the judge…) Ok, friends. Good night!

*This blog was written 04/27 It’s a little ironic (don’t you think?) I am now in the hotel, and would like to think that I can just post blogs normally. However, their modem shot craps, so until they get a new one, I must resort to posting the way I have been. I am thankful to be able to be here. I slept about 10 hours last night (the first night I was here) and it was so incredible to sleep well again. I also can see again. Alas, no John 9:25 miracle. Rodrigue (from the hotel) knew a guy that might be able to help. He had some frames that *almost* fit. They will work for the time being, until I can get back to the US and see an optometrist. I was attempting to just go without, but painting today blind proved to be a chore. So unless Pastor Rodrigue wants a Jackson Pollack knockoff, I spent the $60 US and tok the glasses. While I truly believe God can do miracles (He still can….I could wake up tomorrow morning and be perfectly fine…in that case, I will donate the glasses), I know I am down here to minister through work. And if i cannot see, I cannot do my best work. That is not fair to the ministry I am here to serve. When I get back to the US, as soon as I can scrounge some money, I will go see an optometrist. If you’d like to help, send your love gifts to…..sorry, was channelling my inner-televangelist. Actually, if you DO want to help offset the cost of any of it, send me a message. It would be appreciated. I definitely didn’t expect to have to buy glasses here. At least with these I know they are the correct prescription, unlike the place in Port Au Prince that wanted to “guess.” That definitely wasn’t going to work. Ok, work update. The outside is all painted with the base coats. Solid white. Will do a color coat soon. Next is the inside. I’m a little nervous about the inside, as the paint is very thin, and the brushes and rollers are terrible. I don’t want to splatter all over the nice new tile. I wanted to paint it first, but they had to tile while they had workers, so I understand. I understand from Fedony that the color, inside and out, will be a pinkish color. We have to mix it ourselves. Could be interesting. I have never mixed paint. Not including watercolors in elementary school. Not the same. Similar concept, yes. But not the same. I am thankful for my dad’s encouragement through the last couple days. With everything going on, I had a moment of real frustration. I was tired, sick, and blind. He encouraged me to keep going and not let things get to me. Ok, I am off to bed. One last thing. Forward Edge has had a motor scooter for their team member who has been stationed here long term. He is leaving in a couple weeks, and I was told that they were thinking about donating it to the church. I put in a request to be passed along to the head of their ministry that I would appreciate use of it until I leave, then I would hand it over to the church. It would be easier for me to get around than paying for taxis all the time. Taxis aren’t terribly expensive, but saving any money I can would be great. Praying for favor there. Ok, friends. Good night!

*This post was written 04/25

I have long said the world had four great inventions. Those were, in no particular order, the computer, the wheel, air conditioning, and the spork. Well, I am ready to add a 5th item to that Mt Rushmore of ingenuity: fabric softener/drier sheets. I have realized it’s vast contribution to society when i started going without it. My towel here is not fluffy soft. And don’t even get me started about the underwear. Believe me, I have thought long and hard about this. I almost went with eyeglasses, as I know how important they are, (especially since mine broke today) but we’re going with fabric softener. Here’s to no chaffing!

Ok, so it’s been an interesting couple of days. Starting tomorrow I will be heading back into Jacmel proper to resume staying at the Loving Light. There are a couple reasons behind this. First of all, when the electricity goes off at Gerard’s house, and I don’t even have a fan blowing on me, it’s so humid, I can’t breathe, and that means I can’t sleep. I had 3 straight nights of between 3 and 4 hours of sleep (and not straight. I would sleep for a couple hours, then wake up, then fall back asleep for an hour or 2 later on). Combine that with the fact I was outside all day working, it was making me ill. The other reason is Little Nick from Forward Edge (Teams 1-3 remember him) is coming back down here, and we are going to split the room. Splitting the room with him will cost me the same as I am paying to stay at Gerard’s ($500 US/month) for all the same services, except for dinner. But seeing as I wanted to try some of the local eateries in Jacmel, that’s fine. Plus I get a real shower and toilet. Don’t underestimate the importance in that. Plus the aforementioned air conditioning.

Saturday I hung out with Caleb and Caleb. They started a feeding program over by their place. I saw what they were doing there. We talked about how Nick and I might be able to help. We’re going to build them some benches and a semi-permanent set-up for their tarp. Conduit, I believe, is providing them some real plates and spoons so they don’t have to keep using throw away stuff. Always awesome to see God working. Caleb, Caleb and I went to a resort on the outskirts of Jacmel for lunch. It was supposedly the nicest restaurant in the area. The food wasn’t bad, but way, way overpriced. They were out of anything affordable. I went ahead and splurged for a steak. A little tough, but tasty. Though Blanc Caleb said he knows of a better steak for less money in Jacmel. Next time. The resort overlooked the ocean, so we had a beautiful view while eating. Plus the owner had a mastiff puppy (I say pup…it was 6 months old but already stood nearly 3 foot tall and weighed over 100 pounds). Like mst big dogs, it thinks it’s a lap dog. Very affectionate.

Ok, as you undoubtedly read, my glasses broke today. I woke up at about 6, reached over, grabbed them, and only half of them came. One of the guys at the church attempted to weld them. Didn’t take. Am making the trek into Port Au Prince tomorrow to visit a jewelry repair person. Though I am believing that I will wake up tomorrow and simply be able to see fine. I have been going around sans glasses today, and while it has been a little bit of a struggle, my eyes have not hurt at all, and to me, that’s a small miracle in and of itself. I have been wearing glasses since I was 3 years old, and am pretty much legally blind sans them. My eyes typically get very sore if I have to focus for a while without them on, but no issues today. Praise God! I even managed to shave today without glasses and without cutting up my face. I know some of you were hoping to see me come back with the Grizzly Adams beard, but i just can’t do it. Too hot here. Ok, friends. I am off for the night. I look forward to reports of being able to see tomorrow!

*This post was written 04/22

Disclaimer-The following post has absolutely nothing to do with the work I am doing here in Haiti. It’s a bit of a downer, so feel free to skip it. I am not tagging anyone in Facebook when i post this there, so don’t think I skipped you (yes, Tamra, that means you. No need for a complex.) I just want to be completely honest in my posting, if only to myself, so sometimes I just need to write about what I am feeling.

The last couple days I have woken up thinking about someone that has surprised me. My ex-wife has been on my mind. I am not sure what to make of it. It’s slightly disconcerting. And those thoughts were always about the good times. Now, immediately after waking and realizing, I can think of the bad times, too, but I don’t know if that’s just me trying to compensate. The truth is, it was mostly good. It also is the truth it went downhill very fast. And, yes, there are a lot of regrets from the process. I regret I didn’t keep fighting. Now I know that it only works if both parties want it to work, and she was already dating someone else, but it’s a regret, nonetheless. I regret some of the things I said to her, in anger and in hurt. I have apologized to her, but I wish I had been man enough to not hurt her. Part of me wanted her to hurt the way I did. The abandonment was, and still is, tough to deal with. It’s lessened considerably than it was. After all, the divorce has been final for two years. But it’s still something I deal with, mostly in private. I let very few people know that I still deal with it (so if you’re still reading, you get to join the party). The truth of the matter is I do still miss her. Well, I don’t know if it’s her or just the idea of being happily married I miss. I hope that doesn’t sound bad, it’s just a fact. I can’t separate the two.

Now, back to the dreams. I can’t share details, mainly because I have none. I just know they were happy thoughts. I don’t know what it means. Only God does. I don’t know if he’s brought them on simply as part of the continual healing process. I periodically think about the marriage, not to see what I could have/should have done differently, but to learn. Truth is, I wasn’t a perfect husband. News flash-no one is. It’s a learning process. I wasn’t handed a manual that says “How to be a perfect husband.” (And yes, I am aware the Bible is a pretty good manual on that. I tried to lead from a Biblical perspective. I’m simply saying that being a husband-or wife-is on the job learning.) I made mistakes. But I was also man enough to apologize and try and make them right. And the good thing is, if I am ever fortunate enough to get married again, is I won’t repeat those mistakes. I’ll make a whole bunch of new ones. And when I do, I will apologize for those as well. I will say I am learning more about how to be a Godly husband. How to be the head of my household. How to be a good steward of what God has entrusted me with. To learn to be content with what I have. To be a good provider for my family. Right now, that family doesn’t include a wife. It includes several roommates. I try to provide for them by doing my part around the house. I fix whatever breaks. No complaints, I just do it. And listen whenever someone needs an ear. I want to be the kind of person who can be there for her, no question, no matter what. I also have been learning more about the Biblical roles of husbands and wives. About loving her like Christ loved us. To be willing to lay down my own life for hers. It’s a tough, tough concept. Especially in America. But it’s what we are called to. I also am learning more about being a good father. Again, even if I don’t have kids of my own some day, there will be times that I will be an influence to someone else’s child. And I better know how to be a positive one. I better know how to teach them right from wrong. I kinda have that already. I have been a Sunday School teacher. My best friends’ kids call me Uncle Ben.

Ok, as usual, this post has gone a different direction that I had figured. I guess bottom line is that if I continually try and mold myself in Christ’s image, the rest of it should fall into place. That’s what I am striving to do. Tomorrow’s post will be back to actual mission work, and the usual sarcastic comments. I promise.