Author Archives: benholeton

About benholeton

I'm 32. I work with an awesome organization called Conduit Missions. This year I will be spending time in Togo, West Africa and Jacmel, Haiti with them

A plea

Quite often, when I write these posts, they end up different than I plan when I start putting fingers to keyboard.  This time, it’s changing before I even begin typing.  You see, this post was originally to tell people I was done.  That I couldn’t do it any more.  I was quitting ministry.  Allow me to explain.  Recently, I have felt emotionally drained.  Beat down.  Exhausted.  It’s been a frustrating process to fund raise.  I have had too many people say they were going to help and never do.  I have had a lot of people blow off meetings with me.  They stop returning calls and texts.  They question whether I actually heard God (as if Satan would tell me to go help a bunch of orphans and homeless….)  And yes, I was getting fed up.  To be honest, I had felt taken advantage of.  So many of these people I had dropped what I was doing to help them out with anything they needed and it pained me that they weren’t willing to help out when I finally needed it.  Now, I never did anything expecting to be “paid back’ but it still hurt when it didn’t happen.  Thankfully, I have a pastor who wouldn’t let me quit.  He encouraged me, like he’s done before, to keep fighting.  So, fight I will.  That doesn’t change the need, so here it is.  I am only 10% of what I need monthly coming in.  If I cut back to the “bare minimum” That can upped to 12.5%.  I have a ways to go.  I am imploring any of you that reads this to donate in any way you can.  If you can’t help out monthly, I appreciate anything you can do.  Any donation is helpful.  Maybe if you’re in a small group at your church, the entire group would come together?  I’d also love it if you can spread the word.  Share this with any of your friends.  Share with them my website.  Or give them my phone number (615-210-8657).  I’d love to talk to them.  Does your church have a mission budget?  I’d love to talk to someone.  Know other ways to raise support?  Let’s hear ’em.  I still feel strongly this is what I’m supposed to do.  And while I have full faith in God, I simply can’t do this without partnering from people.  The great thing is, according to the Bible, those who stay home receive the same blessings as those who go (1 Samuel 30:24b).  Thank-you all who are willing and able to partner with me on this.  God bless!

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12 weeks and counting?

Greetings everyone!  Things are moving forward.  I have enough in my account to purchase plane tickets and I should be doing so soon.  I have emailed the pastors in Haiti today to try and lock down some dates.  I’m getting excited.  I still have a ways to go financially but am trusting God to take care of that.  I went home to Iowa a couple weeks ago and picked up 2 one-time sponsors, got 4 people to agree to monthly support (though they are praying on how much) and another 8 that are praying about support.  Things keep progressing.  One of my coworkers at Provident just signed up for support.  Very thankful for everyone who partners with me on the journey.  I couldn’t do it without each of you!

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Catching up

Hello friends.  I want to apologize in advance for the long time between posts.  It’s been a crazy couple of months.  As much as I wanted to just jump right into missions, after speaking to a couple of full-time missionary friends, I stepped back a little and have been more deliberate on how i am approaching this.  The first thing that was decided on, both by myself and the mission director, was that leaving as soon as i was intending to would be more detrimental in the long run.  I have been meeting with him and a couple of other guys who raise their own support each week, and we realize the importance of making sure the funding is there before I go.  It was a hard thing to wrap my head around first.  It didn’t seem like that was “living in faith” but it makes sense.  If I am in Togo but worrying about where my next support check comes from, then I am less effective while i am there.  I can then concentrate on the job at hand.  So I will hold off until August and go to Haiti first (I am confident that I can be fully funded by then).  The group of men I meet with have gone through a book on full time missionary living and I just finished my support letter which will be going out in the next week or so.  In the mean time I am starting to put together a team of close friends here in Middle Tennessee that I can lean on for prayer and support and advice.  I meet with the first of those friends this evening.  I am certainly at peace where things are heading.

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A short note…

One of the thing I struggle with most in life is a feeling I’m never quite good enough. I have a hard time seeing myself as anything buy awkward and a screw up. I know so many more people qualified to go do missions than I am. Why did God pick me? I don’t know I’ll ever know in this lifetime. I do know I can take solace in the fact that He is made great because I certainly am not. Any good I do is because of Him. Certainly not because of me. Actually, that might be why He chose me. His strengths will be magnified in my weakness. That’s a good thing.

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New Website!

hey everybody.  Welcome to my brand new website,  This website is active today!  Still has that new website smell!  Go ahead and take a sniff.  I’ll wait.


Ok, done?  Good!  This is where you’re going to find all the latest information on what’s going on with me, as well as updates on what God is doing in Togo, Haiti, and wherever else He might call me to go.  While you’re here, I’d love it if you were able to help support God’s mission work.  There is a lovely little link my web girl, Amanda, put together for me.  Thanks for visiting.  God bless all of you!

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