Let me preface this post by saying what many of you already know. I have not read Rob Bell’s new book “Love Wins.” But this is blogging. We don’t have to have all the facts to make a judgement. And it’s such a big story that even CNN is covering it. So I did what every other blogger has done it. Watched the 2 minute 58 second promo on YouTube. The general attack on Rob is that he is preaching a message that borders on universalism. The general concept that you only have to be good to get into Heaven. That there are many paths to God. Pick one that works for you. Or as the great Bill S Preston, Esq said, “Be excellent.” Anyway, as I mentioned, I watched the video. While he is, as per his usual m.o. being provocative (he is, of course, the same pastor who wrote a book called “Sex God”), I don’t see universalism being taught. He is not saying Gandhi is in Heaven. He said that we don’t know for sure. And this is true. Now, I want to be clear about something. I believe what Jesus said when he said he was the way, the truth and the life and no one goes to the Father except through Him. So in that respect I believe that it’s not likely Gandhi is there. Though I personally don’t know if he had a late life conversion. Rather, what I got out of the video is this: we as Christians do a fantastic job of saving people by “scaring the Hell out of them.” We quote John 3:16 but don’t focus on the part that says He so loved the world. Jesus was sent to save a sinning world because GOD LOVES US! Love is the central message of the Bible. That’s the good news of the gospel. One of my favorite moments from Jesus is his interaction with the thief on the cross. That thief, on the brink of death, looked at Jesus and said I screwed up my life. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me? And our Savior, in His infinite love, looked at that thief and says “Today you will go with me to paradise.”. Not because it’s another number. They aren’t keeping score in Heaven. But because Jesus knows a heart. Jesus, and by extension, God, loves each and every one of us so much that even people who don’t get that until the eleventh hour still are welcomed. Of course, that doesn’t put butts in the seats on Sunday mornings so we need to save them young. And I certainly agree that life is better being lived with the knowledge of who Jesus is and what He did for me (that’s comforting. Jesus died for me, personally. And you, too.) But he did it out of love. Rob makes a great point. Jesus did not come to save us from God. He came to bring us to God. Hell is a place so bad, God does not, nor can he, exist there. God does not send us to Hell. We live in a fallen world We are already going there. Jesus came to rescue us from that. Out of God’s love. Pastors, you want butts in the seats on Sunday mornings? Love people. Love the homeless. Love the drunk. Love the gay people. The only way you can save them is through love. Do away with your basketball arena-sized facilities. Your programs that feed into programs. Love people. My good friend and Pastor, Darren Tyler said this about the feeding program we have in Haiti. It’s easier to listen to the gospel on a full stomach. Heck the Bible even preaches that. Jesus fed 5000 men fish sandwiches before he preached. Hunger is an all consuming feeling. You cannot focus when you have not ate. Remember that God is about love. You have to meet the people where they are and we all need love. Even Rob Bell. Even you and me.

One year ago today, the island of Haiti was rocked by a 7.0M earthquake rocked the country of Haiti, the worst there in nearly 160 years.  No one was prepared for it and the results were catastrophic.  Homes there are built to withstand hurricanes, not earthquakes and many of them fell.  250,000 people lost their lives.  Nearly 300,000 more were injured.  The infrastructure of the country was so bad that getting aid to remote areas was difficult, to say the least.  In short, a country that was already the poorest in the Western Hemisphere became even more so.

Immediately, aid started pouring in.  As Americans, we did what we do.  We had telethons.  We gave money to the Red Cross.  And that is all extremely important.  Rescue workers went down.  Former Presidents Bush and Clinton went.  Anderson Cooper went.  Madonna’s ex lived there for almost 6 months.  A bunch of nobodies went down to help (myself included).  A lot of good was done, no doubt about it.

However, a year later, the help is drying up.  We live in a world where it’s the next big thing that we focus on.  The US still has wars going on in two countries.  The economy still hasn’t recovered.  Health care.  The iPhone on Verizon.   There are a lot of things to divert our attention.  But I will spend this day, as I do every day, remembering that tiny country in the Caribbean.  Those are not just nameless faces I have seen on tv.  Those are my friends.  They are my family.  These are people I still keep in touch with.  And several of them still don’t have homes.  The news may have moved on, but these people have not.  Nor have I.  That’s why I am proud to be a partner with places like Conduit Mission and Restore Haiti.  For the last 6 years we have been supporting that country by making sure kids get to school, get fed, helping build homes, etc.   And we’re not done yet.  Conduit has the ambitious goal of building 40 houses in 2011.  I will be personally heading down at least once this year.  I would be honored if each of you who read this would help even a little.  To the right of this blog is a paypal button to donate to Conduit (facebook friends, you’ll need to go to the actual blog of benholeton.wordpress.com).  Any donations are tax deductible and go directly towards the work at hand.  Thanks so much, and God bless!

Those of you who have known me for any length of time knows I am prone to, shall we say, obscure thoughts from time to time, so maybe this won’t be a total shock.  But this is definitely “out there,” even for me.  I have been thinking a lot lately about living homeless.  And not, “Boy would it suck to be homeless,” but more like “I should live in my car.”  Ludicrous, I know.  But hear me out.

My biggest goal in 2011 is to remove myself from debt.  Starting in 2012, I want to head back to Haiti on some sort of semi-permanent basis.  I want to help build homes, teach kids, do whatever I can.  I simply fell in love with that country while I was there.  So I also began thinking how I was going to pay the simple bills I might have while doing full time mission work.  I realized that my biggest expenses will likely always be housing.  It started off with a crazy idea of “what if I never had to pay rent?”  Of course, my next thought was immediately, “that’s stupid.  I have to live somewhere.”  But what if I didn’t? Millions of people throughout the world are homeless.  In Haiti, that’s a huge problem, what with the earthquake this year.  Imagine the witness of going down there and saying “not only am I her to help you build a home, but I also go without one.”  Now I realize I still would have it infinitely better than them.  I would be able to live in a car.  I still have a job.  I have the ability to take a shower every day and get food.  But it sends a powerful message, I think, nonetheless.  We in America talk about the homeless problem, but how many of us have ever spent time that way?  Not many.  Homeless people are someone else’s problem.  As long as they don’t come into our neighborhoods.   But it’s something I feel I want to understand.  Aside from Haiti, one of the other main ministries Conduit supports is Place of Hope.  Not only are they a drug and alcohol rehab center in Columbia, TN, but they also have a homeless ministry.  I want to be able to relate to them, even a little.  They say you can’t truly relate to someone unless you walk a mile in their shoes.  What if I spent a few months doing just that?

Now I will be the first to admit the reason I first thought about this was saving money.  I can pay bills down much faster cutting out that expense.  Once I get a vehicle, rent will be my biggest expense.  But think of where else I might save money.  I will save on gas.  I could “live” closer to work.  I wouldn’t have to worry about where I stay wherever I go.  Home would simply go with me.  The only expenses I would add is a Y membership (work out and shower daily) which, considering how much money I made last year, will run around $12/month) and a PO box, as I need somewhere to send my mail.  I can pay bills off and start saving for Haiti.  There will be things that I might need to get before I go.  I can have the money to do so.

Honestly, this might never come to pass.  I very well might chicken out.  Or listen the voices of reason of the few people I have been brave enough to share this with already.  I might honestly miss a bed.  I might miss the security of it.  But then again, if I truly want to live Gandhi’s words of “live simply so others might simply live,” what better way than to live as simply as I can?  What if I forgo some “creature comforts” in order to have more money to give?  And Jesus was homeless.  The ultimate couch surfer, he was.  What if I followed his example even more?  Now I am not Jesus.  Nor am I Gandhi.  But if I can do it, why not?  Why not put myself out there and do what I can to further His kingdom?  It’s just a thought.  But you may be right.  I may be crazy.  But it just might be a lunatic that you’re looking for.

So I start this post at 11:39 on December 7.  21 minutes until my 31st birthday.  I spent today remembering the last year.  I actually just went back and read what I wrote for turning thirty and had a funny moment.  I wrote at that time,

“I actually am looking forward to my thirties. I feel this is a time of a new beginning. Like God is going to do a lot for me (heck, he didn’t start Jesus’ ministry until he was 30…so if it’s good for Him, it ought to be good for me).”

Of course, I had no idea what that would entail.  I was fully expecting music ministry to be a part of it.  How could I know that a barely a month later, Haiti would have an earthquake that would change the lives of so many, myself included?  The job that I was excited about in December?  Ended. As usual, He knew more than me.  He needed me free to go and serve.  So serve I went.  I am not going to recap those months here.  i have written plenty about that and you can go back and read that if you please.  But I will say it was a three months that completely altered my reality.  “Live simply so that others can simply live” was no longer a buzz phrase, if you will, but something I actually understood.  I saw abject poverty every day.  Yet I saw how happy these people were, despite circumstances.  It was freeing, to be honest.

Ok, I know.  I promised I wouldn’t recap.  This is actually a time I want to look ahead.  I’ve been remaking myself this past year and there are things I want to continue.  I want to get in better shape.  The geek in me has discovered there are, in fact, apps for that.  I can get in shape and not spend a ton of money.  As I am getting older (my friend Shannon says wiser….you be the judge) I am starting to realize I need to take better care of myself.  I know, brilliant, huh?  I started this last year somewhat but I am gonna kick it into high gear, i believe.  Which leads me to the second thing I am planning for year 31.  Discipline.  I am going to start getting up at a good time every morning, even if I feel it doesn’t matter, since I work the late shift.  I am also going to make my bed every morning.  Make sure I read my Bible every day.  The little things.  I am also starting a series I found online to help with that discipline.  It’s called 30 days to a better man.  Now, some days of those 30 won’t apply, for one reason or another, but I will attempt to substitute something on those days.  For example, one of their suggestions is to update your resume, because you never know when you might need it.  Well, I just did that about 2 weeks ago.  Because I did.  I also intend on blogging about what I do, so keep checking back here.  We’ll start tomorrow.

Ok, well, I think that will do it tonight.  I am going to bed so I can get up and start tomorrow.  Actually, exercise starts Thursday.  We don’t work out on the birthday.  Yes, I know.  My discipline needs discipline.  It should be a fun year.

Side note:  I get people that ask if I am going back to Haiti a lot.  Yes, I am going for a week spring 2011.  And hopefully a week in fall 2011.  But what I am really aiming towards is sometime in 2012 to be down there on a semi-permanent basis.  Maybe 2 months on, 2 months off.  Not 100% sure on that yet. But it’s definitely on my heart to do it.  I am working at getting out of debt so I have completely nominal expenses so I can do it.  Paying those debts off is part of the discipline. Prayers will be appreciated on this.  God bless!

The person I identify most with in the Bible is King David.  I think David is a fascinating study of the human condition and I can often relate to what he went through.  His psalms run the gamut from songs of adoration and unbridled love towards his cCreator, and words of pain that no bluesman can come close to matching.  When we first meet David, he is a shepherd almost forgotten by his own father.  I, too, have felt forgotten.  Often, I feel as if I’m an afterthought to a lot of people.  Like I’m someone that fades into the background.  I can only imagine the pain David would have felt if he would have heard Jesse say, “oh, yes.  I guess I do have another son.  He’s out tending the sheep.”  Recently, I have felt what it’s like to have God say He has something for me, but it’s not time.  (Tom Petty said it best, the waiting IS the hardest part.)  I have felt lost in the wilderness and know what it’s like to cry out to God.  When you feel the whole world is against me (though I didn’t have some king ready to kill me on sight.  I, too, know what lust can do to a heart and the shame that can be felt giving into temptation.  Now, I’ve never had anybody killed for a woman, but I can relate to the thought crossing my mind.  I wished harm on the man who my ex-wife left me for.  I know what it’s like to love deeply, weep for my friends, have another man be closer than a brother to me, slay a (in my case metaphorically) giant, and also what it means to run scared to the land of the enemy just to avoid potential hurt at home.

The thing that most impresses me about David is this.  He remained a man after God’s own heart.  Even when he screwed up, which was often, he repented and turned back towards his Creator.  And when God said something wasn’t for him, he made sure who it was for had everything that was needed to succeed.  I, too, strive for that .  I want to lead men.  I want to be someone that can be relied on.  I want to lead men into battle, whatever that might look like, and know that with God on our side, we will emerge victorious.  I want to be a King in His Kingdom.  I want Him to tell me, “Well done.”